Will USC win the NCAA College Football Championship?
ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT.
Here are the FACTS
Last year’s BLOODBATH was one that I cherished. Knowing Cody would be all over USC to upset Alabama, I instantly turned into a Bama fan. I didn’t really have a team before this game that I honestly followed closely, but I was given no choice when I saw the spread of the game at -13. And yet I couldn’t have laid down money faster for the Crimson Tide to cover that line. Cody was adamant that the Trojans had a legitimate shot at an upset. But I couldn’t help but laugh in his face as he continue to spray that propaganda towards me, even when I was showing him I was betting all over that -13.
It was pure embarrassment for USC. First game of the year, and they’re trying to make a statement by scheduling the University of Alabama like USC has the nuts to back it up? IDIOTS!. An absolute massacre occurred in Tuscaloosa. But I was forced to enjoy this game. I had zero opinion on it until Cody was saying the phrase “Fight On” all in my face while parading in his USC jersey. So now I’ve officially become a Crimson Tide fan. It wasn’t my choice to drink the tears of a man who is too invested in a school that can’t hack it with arguably the greatest college football coach ever. I’m sorry, but my hand has been forced, and now I have to say Roll Tide at any and every time that I have the ability to. ROLL TIDE.
With that in mind, I believe it is my turn to talk about my teams season, right? I’ll first point out how clearly USC didn’t want to get that ass waxed two years in a row. Clearly, they honestly believed they had a shot to beat Alabama. Scheduling them last year to hypothetically win, and then not play them in the near future so they could hold the result of the game over Alabama for years? I think we can all agree this is the most DELUSIONAL thing USC could ever attempt to pull off. ROLL TIDE.
So we’ll go over Alabama’s schedule: (ROLL TIDE)
September 2nd vs Florida State: MURDER
September 9th vs Fresno State: MURDER
September 16th vs Colorado State: MURDER
September 23rd at Vanderbilt: MURDER
September 30th vs Ole Miss: MURDER
October 7th at Texas A&M: MURDER
October 14th vs Arkansas: MURDER
October 21st vs Tennessee: MURDER
November 4th vs LSU: MURDER (Lots of gumbo consumed as well)
November 11th at Mississippi State: MURDER
November 18th vs Mercer: MURDER
November 25th at Auburn: MURDER
January 1st at NCAA Playoff Semifinal: MURDER
January 8th at NCAA Playoff Championship: MASS MURDER
Prediction: WE ARE GONNA ROLL TIDE ALL THE WAY TO THE TITLE
Here are the facts..Since the college playoff was created in 2014, the 3 teams to win were either Alabama or a team that had to play them on their road to the championship. Since 2006, the year after USC was last in the national championship game (where they choked like the frauds that they are), every single year has involved either Alabama or an SEC team that had to beat Alabama during the season in order to get into the championship game. In conclusion, since 2006, for 11 years straight the national championship has been impacted based solely off whether or not Alabama lost simply one game during the season or not. So for all you simpleton’s that don’t understand what I’m saying….THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP LITERALLY RUNS THROUGH TUSCALOOSA.
ROLL DAMN TIDEEEEEEE.
My new life.
PS: YOU’RE OUTTA YOUR FREAKIN MIND COWTURD! YOU’RE JEALOUS! OUR DYNASTY HAS JUST BEGUN! KISS MY BUTT! ROLL TIDE!