The Pablo Sandoval Conspiracy Theory
Saturday was Pablo Sandoval’s first game back as a San Francisco Giant after parting ways to join the Red Sox. We all know about his crash and burn with the Sox (more like eating himself to being released). Which I’m not quite sure how anyone is surprised about a guy with the nickname “Panda” being lazy, overweight, and constantly eating. If anything, GM’s at every team should have refused to give him a huge contract with his nickname in mind combined with the pattern of star athletes gaining massive amounts of weight after signing big contracts. It should have been a safe assumption to believe giving Sandoval a big contract like this would backfire, just like everyone knows that if you attempt to wage war with the French, they cower in fear and always run away like little baby back bitches. Or that if I bet on an NHL game and it goes to shootouts, I am 122% not winning that bet considering I’m something like 0-36 when it happens. Those are facts. But this is a different discussion than the one I would like to have with you today.
I’ve come across some interesting information regarding similarities between Pablo Sandoval and the Illuminati. Yes, Pablo Sandoval may very well be in the Illuminati. What a crew. Jay Z, Taylor Swift, and Pablo Sandoval. So diabolically different that it may just make sense. People around the world are worried about many conspiracy theories. 9/11, Paul McCartney dying and being replaced, the Flat-Earth Theory, and of course the theory that the Titanic was purposely sunk to avoid trouble with the Federal Reserve during an insurance claim. But I think everyone needs to pay attention to what I’m about to say.
As the world knows, this is the infamous moment at the 2009 VMA’s that the arguably most humble guy in the world got up and embarrassed Taylor Swift and told the entire crowd that Beyonce should have won the award. This is a crucial moment.
According to the Vigilantcitizen.com, “This scene is in fact Taylor Swift’s initiation into what I call “The Circle of Chosen Artists”. The pupil is humiliated in front of her peers and told that she is not worthy to be on the same stage as Beyonce, the queen of the ceremony. Almost all groups, fraternities and gangs carry out an initiation process to test the recruit’s character, strength and worth. Swift’s ordeal was to have Kanye ruin her first award ever and to be told that she didn’t deserve this recognition. The rapper is known for bitching during award shows so he was the perfect candidate to make it all seem ‘unexpected.”
I have to apologize, but no where in this theory will you find me telling you why Kanye had to get that terrible haircut. I’ve been searching and haven’t found much. But I refuse to stop searching for that truth.
What is widely popularize by now is that the symbol for the Illuminati is the pyramid. You can find it anywhere. On dollar bills, in drawings, and yes…even between the disgustingly fatty loins of Pablo Sandoval’s legs. And if you’re wondering why I’m pointing out these pictures, this is unarguably the most embarrassing public moment in Sandoval’s life. The moment that he swung, missed, and then broke his belt due to his inability to stop shoveling food into his mouth. A monumental low. Street gutter worthy low. Just like Taylor Swift, pure embarrassment.
More damaging evidence!
Later in the same show at the 2009 VMA’s, “After Swift’s public humiliation, Beyonce, the queen of the ceremony, calls her up on stage to let her ‘have her moment’. She appears from backstage (as if awaiting her cue) in a red dress which is strikingly similar to Beyonce’s…Taylor Swift being called on stage represents the fact that she has now been accepted as an equal to Beyonce and has become one of the ‘chosen ones’. The matching dresses also convey this sense of belonging to a new group. She has ‘passed the test’ – the ordeal of being humiliated – and she can now reap the rewards of being an insider.” It is heavily agreed upon that the color red is a significant color of the Free Masonic. Now it could be pure coincidence, or we could just be connected the dots correctly.
Even during Sandoval’s embarrassing moment, he couldn’t help himself but to try and hang with the cool kids by wearing red before he was allowed to. What a hardoooo.
At this point, Pablo has gone through his embarrassing act in front of his peers, and will now reap all of the rewards. He is here SKINNY after an offseason and getting to meet/give his jersey to Neymar and Messi. Are we going to sit here and not think they could be in it too????? But yes, clearly wearing red with his peers, professional athletes.
IN CONCLUSION: Pablo Sandoval left the Giants to join the Red Sox. He got a big contract out of that jump, but still needed to prove himself. So he concocted a plan to get a humanly, disgusting as he could so his belt could break on tv. It was everywhere and everyone heard about it. Believe me, I had to hear a ton of butthurt Giants fans laugh about it so much because they were mad he left. Anyways, he then was greeted into the group by publicly getting 2 of the best soccer players in the world to take pictures of him with his uniform to show off his now world wide success.
Guys, and ladies(sup?), I’m only here to show you evidence and let you dictate what to think. I’m not saying he’s not in it, but I’m also not saying he’s not.